Holding On

Facebook has a new feature which tells you what your "status" was a year ago. A year ago today my status read, "Maggie is learning to let go"

I have to say that in some ways I think I have really come a long way in this. I have been able to move past things that bother me and accept many things I cannot change. I imagine when I wrote that I was doing the same thing I did tonight I put the kids to bed, without Guy. I waited for him for dinner but ended up eating Arby's by myself at 10:00 at night. I checked facebook, email and my new favorite blog Just for the Record. I used to loathe being alone at night but now I can usually embrace it. I am still not perfect at this but it's progress. Of course, I would prefer Guy to be home but this week he is on call.

Letting go isn't always necessary though. If you check that blog I linked to above, you will see the story of the sweetest little family. I didn't know them personally but have been touched by their story. Funny thing is, this week I have been trying to hold on to everything rather than let go. My days have been filled with extra hugs, kisses, stories, parks, rug time, kids shows and other things that seemed to have been looked over in the day to day shuffle. While "letting go" is a trait that has served me well for the past year, my status today will read "Maggie is holding on". I am holding on to the smell of my baby girl. I am holding on to the sound of my boy playing in his room way past his bed time. I am holding on to a husband who is working hard for our family and fills our home with love even when he is gone. I am holding on to my knowledge of eternal families. I am holding on to the peace, love and happiness I feel. And I am holding on to baby Ruby and her story so that I can be reminded every day that letting go isn't nearly as important as holding on.